I don't know

For years and years I've been obssesing about my weight, how my skin type should be like or how to make my hair silky smooth. Been doing tons of research of what healthy foods to eat but nothing seems to sink in. My dad tells me that even if i drink tons of water and eat plenty of fruits i wouldn't lose weight without exercise but I never listen. Still I do more research to make me feel happy and contented. Thats all i do.

Just now did realize i was over obssesing about something I couldn't get until i work for it. Doing sacrifices is a bit difficult for me, i hate it. The fact that I can't eat a lot and other can without gaining weight, it sucks! it really sucks! but I can't do anything about it anymore, they are gifted with a good metabolism shit.

I never had an inspiration to lose weight thats why maybe I couldn't do it. i couldn't exercise for so long running no where.

I guess my inspiration should be myself. I should be doing this for no one but myself. I should be staying pretty for no one but myself to make me feel better and not insecure of others.

There should be no more excuses like im stresses, it tired or im lazy. just do it. Its time to unfreeze that time clock and make it tick again. Maybe then, ill be happy. I don't know but where ever life takes me, its something ill be ready for.

By the Beach

Went camping to Zambales last Wednesday with some friends from college. It was actually a long drive, we taught it would only take us 4 hours to get there from Manila, hence, it took us seven hours before we could reach the place. But it was worth it.

We took a boat ride to get to the other island, the boat lasted for a about 10 to 15 minutes. The weather was fine at first until the rain started pouring out. It was fun actually, trying to grill the "Liempo" under the shade of a huge tree and an umbrella. The hard part was burning the coal and transferring our stuffs from the tent to another place where there's shed because our tent got flooded. But it was one hell of an experience.

Later that night, we took a bath using the "poso negro" just nearby. It was really scary since there were no other source of light but the small flash light we brought and we were the only people in the island, but we managed to survive the dark place. Yey for us! Then we made smores. Love love love!

It was a long night I tell you! but to sum it all up! We all had a great time :)

Lazy.

Its 12 noon and i'm so lazy for school. I don't have any class today. I just need to submit this yearbook thing. Nooooooo

I have so many thoughts going inside of head. I want to rest :(

Void

I don't know what to say anymore, but I do know what to do.

Never had this feeling before, and I know that I don't deserve that kind of treatment.

To you:

Thank you for everything, for being a good friend, for helping me out, for accepting me for who I was before. But now I know what your priorities now, and I'm not one of them. I'm not demanding for attention but I was hoping you would be different. Bird of the same feather flock together right? I want to blame you, but it would be unfair. Sorry, I was selfish, inconsiderate and all. I was going to change things, but this had to happen. I guess there's a reason why.

Well, here's my goodbye. Take care. I love you

Thought.

I don't know why it bothers me that you're sick.

I think I really care about you

but, i don't want to care.

Tiktok

When to Ortigas early this morning, I was so scared of being late due to traffic somewhere around Greenhills. Man was I rushing to the Century building near the Linden Suites wearing a skirt for my interview. Good thing I arrived just in time, exactly 8:00 Ha! God loves me. So this guy, Jesse was my interviewee. He a bit old by cute! Haha. I was cam-corded during my whole interview and I was shaking. It kind of freaked me out, but since its a part of the whole process, i had to deal with it. I really wanted to get in. But the shifting they offered me was only for night shifts :( Hopefully, there will be a morning shift. I pray to God. I see myself working there maybe a year from now after I graduate., or maybe after a couple of years. I really have no idea what to do yet, after i graduate; should I get my second degree? or should I study abroad? should i look for a job? Hell, Im not yet ready. It feels like the world is too big for me. I mean, its just that, my experience, its just not enough.

I pray to God for the Design People. Its a place where I could really see myself :) Hopefully! Please Lord :)

Lost

Save me

I can't get out

I have to escape

Too many voices

I can't concentrate

I'm scared

I don't know where I am

How do I get out?

Please help me