I don't know

For years and years I've been obssesing about my weight, how my skin type should be like or how to make my hair silky smooth. Been doing tons of research of what healthy foods to eat but nothing seems to sink in. My dad tells me that even if i drink tons of water and eat plenty of fruits i wouldn't lose weight without exercise but I never listen. Still I do more research to make me feel happy and contented. Thats all i do.

Just now did realize i was over obssesing about something I couldn't get until i work for it. Doing sacrifices is a bit difficult for me, i hate it. The fact that I can't eat a lot and other can without gaining weight, it sucks! it really sucks! but I can't do anything about it anymore, they are gifted with a good metabolism shit.

I never had an inspiration to lose weight thats why maybe I couldn't do it. i couldn't exercise for so long running no where.

I guess my inspiration should be myself. I should be doing this for no one but myself. I should be staying pretty for no one but myself to make me feel better and not insecure of others.

There should be no more excuses like im stresses, it tired or im lazy. just do it. Its time to unfreeze that time clock and make it tick again. Maybe then, ill be happy. I don't know but where ever life takes me, its something ill be ready for.

By the Beach

Went camping to Zambales last Wednesday with some friends from college. It was actually a long drive, we taught it would only take us 4 hours to get there from Manila, hence, it took us seven hours before we could reach the place. But it was worth it.

We took a boat ride to get to the other island, the boat lasted for a about 10 to 15 minutes. The weather was fine at first until the rain started pouring out. It was fun actually, trying to grill the "Liempo" under the shade of a huge tree and an umbrella. The hard part was burning the coal and transferring our stuffs from the tent to another place where there's shed because our tent got flooded. But it was one hell of an experience.

Later that night, we took a bath using the "poso negro" just nearby. It was really scary since there were no other source of light but the small flash light we brought and we were the only people in the island, but we managed to survive the dark place. Yey for us! Then we made smores. Love love love!

It was a long night I tell you! but to sum it all up! We all had a great time :)

Lazy.

Its 12 noon and i'm so lazy for school. I don't have any class today. I just need to submit this yearbook thing. Nooooooo

I have so many thoughts going inside of head. I want to rest :(

Void

I don't know what to say anymore, but I do know what to do.

Never had this feeling before, and I know that I don't deserve that kind of treatment.

To you:

Thank you for everything, for being a good friend, for helping me out, for accepting me for who I was before. But now I know what your priorities now, and I'm not one of them. I'm not demanding for attention but I was hoping you would be different. Bird of the same feather flock together right? I want to blame you, but it would be unfair. Sorry, I was selfish, inconsiderate and all. I was going to change things, but this had to happen. I guess there's a reason why.

Well, here's my goodbye. Take care. I love you

Thought.

I don't know why it bothers me that you're sick.

I think I really care about you

but, i don't want to care.

Tiktok

When to Ortigas early this morning, I was so scared of being late due to traffic somewhere around Greenhills. Man was I rushing to the Century building near the Linden Suites wearing a skirt for my interview. Good thing I arrived just in time, exactly 8:00 Ha! God loves me. So this guy, Jesse was my interviewee. He a bit old by cute! Haha. I was cam-corded during my whole interview and I was shaking. It kind of freaked me out, but since its a part of the whole process, i had to deal with it. I really wanted to get in. But the shifting they offered me was only for night shifts :( Hopefully, there will be a morning shift. I pray to God. I see myself working there maybe a year from now after I graduate., or maybe after a couple of years. I really have no idea what to do yet, after i graduate; should I get my second degree? or should I study abroad? should i look for a job? Hell, Im not yet ready. It feels like the world is too big for me. I mean, its just that, my experience, its just not enough.

I pray to God for the Design People. Its a place where I could really see myself :) Hopefully! Please Lord :)

Lost

Save me

I can't get out

I have to escape

Too many voices

I can't concentrate

I'm scared

I don't know where I am

How do I get out?

Please help me

Dying

Because God loves me. I can die right now.

Slacking or Working?

I've been looking for an internship for quite some time now. And finally, I've found one already! I loving it already even if I'm not doing much yet.

The people I'm working for are incredibly Awesome! Their so cool and plus, they give us free lunch! Lunch allowance I guess. Like last time, they cooked Sinigang with taro and shrimp. It was actually new to my taste since the sinigang I usually eat is filled with pork and vegetables. I plan to try cooking sinigang using their recipe! Yey

But there's only one slight problem, well you know I'm kind of deaf, and with their low voice I'm kind of having a hard time hearing what they are explaining. Boo for me. Time to unplug the dirt from my eardrums! :)

Dreaming

I don't know what has gotten into me. But I can't stop thinking about him. Do I need to put an end to this now? Just when I know he's within my reach? kidding. waa. Im giggling. I know its stupid but this is my blog and I'll post what ever I want!

A friend of mine is inviting me to his birthday party, overnight! He told that he's going be the there! Is this a dream come true? hopefully! it's a month from now, I have to start burning! I feel so stimulated! okay gross. I just can't wait!

A wonderful day

Since I'm bored and I feel like posting. Im going to post.

I saw my LOVER BOY [i kid] earlier this afternoon and he was so cute. I feel like dying in front of him. I wanted to greet him but I couldn't we're not that close, well, we're not even friends to begin with. But you know what surprised me, seeing him! I was just thinking about him last night and this morning; then I ended up seeing him accidentally because of a friend of mine. Im trying to believe that we have a chance. foolish me still hoping. but you know what. DREAMS DO COME TRUE. one day! you'll see :)

Just some random things I realized just now.

First, "when God closes the door, He opens the window"

Second, " there's no such thing as COINCIDENCE"

Third, " The SECRET is true "

Forth, " Life is about taking risks "

and Last, "Pray Hard"

Never too old to Party

Partied with an old friend of my mine somewhere in Makati last Saturday, we celebrated her 20th Birthday. We first when to Edsa Shangrila to attend this debut her mom was invited in. The food was great! I love the cheese roll and the Tiramisu Cake! Im craving. Then we met this amazing guy, well I'm not sure if he is a "He/She" kind. Then after, we went to Makati! Yey for me! its been like 3 months or more since my last night out. I knew I really needed to loosen up a bit from all the school work and training.

I tried two different alcohols that night. The first one was Jagerbomb, not quite sure what it tasted like. I think it was like coke? or something else. I don't remember. And the second one was Furo Loco, the one i've been raving for! I only took one shot of it though. But if you want to get drunk, I recommend you to take 2 shoots of it or more :)

That's it. I love my Life. And I love God :)

Keep Moving Forward

Last Thursday I had my first wedding shoot for my on the job training. My first wedding coverage. Now that is scary. Good thing I was only a back-up Photographer because when I was browsing the photos I took, mostly all of them were blurry! I got really disappointed. But what can I do? I couldn't ask the couple to have a remake wedding could I? There's nothing else to do but to learn from the mistakes i've done. I'll try not to think about it anymore and do better with my next shoot. I hope to improve and be a good photographer! though I might not major photography, i still want to take good photos for keeps :)

Take you God. I love you